Post # 10 – November 25 2007
Journal Day 4
Today was a good day for me. I didn’t smoke today, nor have I felt cravings. I read that the 4th days is the hardest, and I only made it to day 3.
I slept in way too late today. It is close to midnight and I am not very tired. This used to be a resolved by smoking myself to sleep – I hope to get about 4 hours tonight, power through my Monday, then hit the sack early. I am hoping to line up a couple dates this week – so that should keep me busy and focused on being healthy!
I wrote my first post on reasons for quitting today. This was a useful exercise and I recommend it to anyone. It is very motivating. Just keeping up with this site has been a huge benefit for me and keeping me focused on my goals.
Days Sober: 1
Post #11 – November 26 2007
Another Marijuana Relapse – Journal Day 5
I smoked again today. I took a couple of hits of a pipe from a friend of mine. I had a couple of pints of beer in me that probably affected my judgment. The circumstances are remarkably similar to my last relapse. I still have not purchased any marijuana or smoked it alone, so I am making significant forward progress. I am gaining will power every day and starting to unravel the habitual pattern I have been in for the last 7 or so years. I still have a bunch of work ahead of me.
Thanks to everyone for their support and comments. I have to wrap up Part 3 of my Reasons to Quit series. Whenever I write, I stay on track and motivated.
Post #12 – November 27 2007
Quit Marijuana and Improve Self Esteem
Today started off pretty poorly. As I mentioned in my previous journal entry, I drank a bit and got stoned last night. This caused me to wake up late this morning so I am wide awake at 12:00 AM tonight.
I did not smoke any pot or drink today. I ate a couple of healthy meals and kept busy. Around 10pm this night I got a little bit depressed and went for a walk around my neighborhood. The fresh air definitely helped. I stopped in at a pub and met a cute girl, I didn’t drink while there and beat the local bar pro at darts.
I have been focusing a lot of time on exploring my addiction. I am still on the phase of documenting the toll it is taking on my life, my next step will be to proactively conquer my addiction.
I wrote a post today about the negative effect of marijuana and relationships. I struggled with low self esteem for from about age 16-21, until I started smoking pot. Pot gave me friends and a nice bubble reality to exist in. There were plenty of smokers, and the bond found in the weed circle was comforting at that time. I am going to dig deeper into the self-esteem and marijuana connection on another day. Time to read a book and head to bed!
Days Sober: 1
Post #13 – November 28 2007
Addiction to Marijuana – Relapse Patterns
Today was a pretty good day. I ended up having a puff, which is not good, but I have identified the pattern that leads to these relapses and will close off that opportunity. I have some friends coming in to town this weekend, so I will be busy with them and be able to get a couple of days under my belt.
Next week, I am not allowed to go and hang out at the local pub. I may extend this all the way through to Christmas. Each time I have messed up, it has been from meeting up with folks there. This is clearly an old habit and way of thinking that I need to change.
I did, however, sleep like a baby last night. In my first week, I went from smoking about 25 times to only 3. This is progress. Progress is all I am looking for, perfection comes later.
Days Sober 0
Post #14 – December 3 2007
Quit Smoking Weed – Can’t Sleep?
Today was a pretty crappy day. It poured rain all day and the weather was gray. I stayed in bed a little late today, partly because I knew I had nothing left to smoke.
My internet also went down tonight, right when I wanted to do work on the site and write my journal, luckily it came back within a couple of hours.
I did not smoke weed today. This is a great accomplishment. Unfortunately, this also means that I am not tired one bit and it is close to 2:00 AM. I have an important work day tomorrow, so I will just breath deep with the lights off and attempt to get some sleep. The first day is always the hardest to get back to normal. My memory was far better last week than right now, but that will quickly improve with a couple of days of sobriety.
I really wanted to go out tonight and just get out of my place and socialize, but I decided against it. I need to get a couple of days behind me so that I can reinforce my desire to quit. I need to practice saying ‘No’ so that I can be successful is saying ‘No’ when the time comes.
Days Sober 1