Questions about Marijuana Addiction

Entry #35 April 13 2008

For the first timers at the site, a guest has been posting with some excellent and insightful comments and questions. He / She goes by “anonymous.”

Anonymous had an excellent comment on my last post:

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I’m not a psychologist or therapist, but…
To the casual observer, it appears that you’re swapping one mind-altering substance for another.
Having worked in the addiction recovery field, it’s quite common.

At least you realize the folly of avoiding booze, or at least drunkenness. Honestly, if you’re trying to get life on track, I firmly believe that a period of unaltered consciousness (i.e. NO mind-altering substances whatsoever. If you stay 100% clean for a period of time, you can have mental and emotional clarity to deal with whatever issues you have in life that bring about the need or desire to “get f***d up”.

It doesn’t matter whether it’s alcohol, marijuana, cocaine, heroin, meth, PCP, LSD, Valium, or cough syrup. They all tweak your mind in some way, shape or form. Stay away from them all in order to get your life on track. At some point, perhaps you will be able to apply some moderation and enjoy a temporary altered state of consciousness.
Perhaps not.

I have a couple questions, though…
In your eyes, is drinking acceptable and smoking marijuana not acceptable simply because of the legal status of one over the other?

Why did you choose to quit smoking pot and not quit drinking?

Have you truly analyzed the unmanagebility in your life and traces it back specifically to marijuana? How are you so certain it’s not alcohol bringing these ills to fruition in your life?

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Yes there have been long periods of time where I didn’t drink, but still smoked pot. I smoked pot on a regular basis, before I ever drank on a regular basis. I would say I have never ‘craved’ drinking like weed.

Drinking is acceptable, within moderation.
Smoking pot is acceptable within moderation.
Consuming or doing X is acceptable within moderation.

Failing the ability to moderate is the problem….it has shown up with marijuana…and truthfully, to a lesser extent alcohol.

With alcohol, I can flip a switch and stop for the evening, or for the year…..marijuana has eluded me in that fashion…but I am working on it.

The unmanagability is due to the long term stoner mindset that aquired, rather than the need to go drinking.

Day 1, Again – How do I stop smoking weed?

Entry #36 – April 14 2008

How Do I stop smoking weed

I slipped up again and smoked last night.   This was the first relapse in a long time —-more than 3 weeks.  Over the last week I had been drinking more than I normally do – well more than normal when I was smoking pot multiple times per day.     I ended up having about 5 beers last night, then smoking a bowl.

I knew I didn’t *want* to smoke weed, but I decided to follow everyone out.  I knew I didn’t want to smoke, but I joined the circle.  I knew I didn’t want to smoke weed, but I lit up and took a puff, and held that smoke down for what felt like an eternity.   The act of smoking was so a release, almost like peeing after holding it too long.    For a few brief moments, I enjoyed myself.

Reality hit pretty hard, I had just broken a great sober streak, and now I felt like shit.   I was stoned, paranoid, and depressed, so I went home and sat alone and stared at the wall for about an hour.   When I tried to stop smoking weed in the past, every time  I slipped up, I felt like it was the end of the world, sunk into a depression, and got ridiculously stoned for weeks.   When I hit rock bottom, I would try to quit again.

I am always learning and learned a lot from my previous attempts to kick the habit.  Somewhere in my mind, at some point, last night, I made a decision to smoke pot.   I am still thinking heavily on this to see if I can find the exact point, so that I can identify and avoid it in the future.   Did I get drunk to have an excuse to smoke, did I drink because I couldn’t smoke.   Did I go out with friends, with the knowledge that weed would be around, and I might stumble upon it?    I am still on the bandwagon, and my resolve has not changed.   Last night may have made it even stronger.  The guilt I felt from smoking completely ruined the experience, and I don’t want to go through all the negative feelings I get when I smoke weed.

How do I quit smoking weed?    One step at a time.   I had some clarity last night (amazing despite the beer and weed), it made me realize that this is a major process to undertake – and will take time.   I can’t just quit smoking weed, I have to change my entire lifestyle to be substance free if I really want to succeed.

Blog Update

Entry #37 – April 30 2008

Its been a couple weeks since I posted, things are going fine, I was on vacation, and have been busy with work / business projects. I will be back the blog this week as time allows. For times like this, I created the forums so that everyone could interact, please check them out. You can register for the forums by registering for the blog or by clicking here.

Because I am sure you all are wondering, I have smoked 3 times in the past two weeks, and haven’t smoked since Friday. Haven’t bought it at all!

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